Overcoming Barriers To Happiness

Overcoming Barriers To Happiness

Overcoming barriers to happiness

I’ve never by any means been a very unhappy person. I’m very extroverted and I love being with other people. Nevertheless, my moods have always been quite up and down. I could be perfectly happy one day and it would all come crashing down a few days later.

After a while, I realized that this kept happening because I was basing my emotional state on other people.

Let me explain what I mean. For example, I’d find out that several of my friends would be going to a party that I wasn’t invited to. Or someone would make a comment that I construed as being overly critical. Or someone would cancel on me.

I would take those kinds of situations very personally. Every time anything like that happened, I’d question myself. Did I do something wrong? Did people actually like me? Did they still want to be friends with me?

I had construed this image of myself as a reflection of how I thought others saw me. Try to wrap your head around this one. As long as I thought I was well-liked and I had a lot of friends, I felt happy. And as soon as that perception changed, I felt bad about myself.

I wasn’t doubting my abilities or personality. I just felt insecure about whether others thought I was good enough. So, I was constantly seeking validation. I think that happens to a lot of people. We crave validation from others because we don’t know how to self-validate. We don’t understand how we can create our own happiness without depending on others.

overcoming barriers to happiness

I’m Helene, the creator of the HC Lifestyle Blog,
where I share my favourite life experiences. I love writing about travel, food, fitness, and many other things.

I’m a big believer in trying to live life to the fullest, dancing, and seeing as much of the World as I can.

As soon as I realised this, I started changing my thinking patterns. This was how I started thinking:

  • Everyone has their own life. Stop being so self-centered in thinking that every action or reaction is about you. It really isn’t. Someone might be having a bad day and be cranky, and that might have absolutely nothing to do with you. If you haven’t done anything wrong, don’t assume it’s about you. Offer support instead.
  • Be happy on your own. Being alone doesn’t mean being lonely. If no one is around, start that project, get fit, cook, get creative, travel, or just watch a film and enjoy your own company. If you feel uncomfortable doing anything by yourself, ask yourself why you’re scared of being alone with your thoughts. Then tackle that issue.
  • No one is responsible for your happiness apart from you. Your friends and family have no obligation whatsoever to help you with your issues. Of course, if you ask them for help and they help you, they’re great. But don’t feel like anyone owes you their friendship, their time, or their listening ear. If you learn to tackle your own problems, you’ll become much stronger as a person.
Overcoming barriers to happiness
overcoming barriers to happiness


Let me clarify something. I’m not saying you shouldn’t make friends or you shouldn’t hang out with people. Be social, hang out, have friends, but don’t become emotionally dependent on them.

If you can be in charge of your own emotions and create your own happiness, you’ll naturally attract other emotionally stable and strong people who will enhance your life. Instead of subtracting from each others’ happiness, you’ll create more happiness between you than you each possess individually. And that’s a very freeing experience.

Note from Kate: Ah… Helene is SO right. Nobody can make you happy if you are not happy alone. And that goes with love and self-love as well 🙂 I am so happy Helene let me publish this beautiful story of hers!

If you want to read more life-stories from our Team up Girls, head over here.

Otherwise see you until next time! Lots of love and Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow!

How To Juggle Multiple Roles? Blogger, girlboss, wife, girlfriend…

How To Juggle Multiple Roles? Blogger, girlboss, wife, girlfriend…

Hello lovely!

Let me tell ya, blogging, running your own business, being a loving wife… that’s tough! I don’t know how people with pets or kids do that! Actually, I don’t know how people with kids do anything. If you have a kid girl, you’re my hero! (I love kids but we ain’t ready for that)

And Monday as the day to post my new blog post?! Holy macaroni how did I ever think that would be a good idea? Especially when I KNOW that I dedicate most of the weekend to my husband and I and our love. Not that we don’t love each other during the week but you know what I mean… (if you don’t – he is an Air Force guy and let me tell ya, he usually doesn’t have much time during the week).

That’s probably why I have gaps in posting and why am I typing this on Sunday 11 pm. I just didn’t feel inspired earlier.

 

About two weeks ago I realized 2 major things.

I don’t know what I am doing here. I mean, I do. I have a clear vision but -there is the but and the second discovery- only blogging won’t fulfill that.

You know, Team up Girl was “founded” as a place for women supporting women but if I don’t do that in my offline life, I can hardly have that online. Makes sense, right?!

And that’s when I realized something I’ve always known. I have beautiful friends who need my love and support first. I have my sister Verca, and my friends Lucka, Eliska and Misa. And I loooooooove them to Europe and back.

And furthermore, if I don’t talk to YOU, Team up Girl is nothing. And I am talking about real-time online Zoom or Facebook call supported conversations.

So I started doing just that. I actually committed to weekly Skype with my friends and at least 1 or 2  not-work-related calls a week with other badass girls (turns out these are my new friends now!). And I know all of this is actually online not offline, however that’s just how it is right now in our tiny Wichita Falls.

how to juggle multiple roles

I feel like Team up Girl more than ever!

All of this with way more ease and satisfaction. I might not be structured right now, not have a content calendar ready for the next month ahead (who am I kidding, even a week) but I feel like I am making a difference. Following my intuition has always paid off so far and I believe this will happen even this time.

So maybe if you are juggling multiple roles right now and you feel like you are getting lost in it, think about what you WANT to do. Sometimes less does more. Sometimes focus on one place makes more than attention divided into 100 pieces. Sometimes shifting your dedication or taking a break is not quitting.

 

Love you,

Kate

 

P.S. If you feel like connecting, come to join us in our Facebook group OR contact me directly 🙂

How and why to have morning and evening routine?

How and why to have morning and evening routine?

OH MY GOODNESS

I feel like I need to share this with you ASAP!!!

It’s been 2 days since I’ve started doing my morning and evening routines and I already feel SO MUCH MORE EMPOWERED!!!

Ok, I know these caps and 3 exclamation points look little too excessive but I am just blown away with this whole process and I would literally scream that all over the place if I didn’t worry our neighbors would call the police this time!

I have no idea why is it or what is happening but ever since I started this “magical” process, I’ve been feeling so much more excited about my daily life, full of energy, happier to wake up and I even have a better sleep!

And especially the sleep has been my lifesaver because for the last couple of months I have been having nightmares every other night and couldn’t sleep without waking up in the middle of the night.

So what do I do?

I am going to share my “secret” but YOU have to promise me you won’t copy it.

Say what?!

Yes, don’t just copy what I do but try to think of a routine that would work for you 🙂 and don’t worry, I’ll give your some tips on this as well.

My morning routine:

 

  1. I wake up and make myself some tea and eat my vitamins 
  2. 10 min of journaling (I haven’t mastered this one but I bought a new prompt I will share with you in my next post right when I try it but for now… I just write what am I grateful for and what am I excited for in the day) 
  3. I read 1 chapter in some self-help book 
  4. I eat breakfast (without reading or listening to anything because I want to only focus on the food) 
  5. I do my skin care routine, brush my teeth, make my bed and put on some make-up (all while listening to some podcast) 
  6. 10 min of meditation/affirmations/podcast – if the one I was listening during point #5 was longer 
  7.  I don’t touch my phone AT ALL until this point (or make myself not see the notifications)
morning and evening routine

My evening routine:

  1. I clean my office table 
  2. Skin care routine + teeth (no phone from this point, not even for Instagram) 
  3. Journaling – 3-4 sentences on how my day was and how I felt 
  4. Reading 1 chapter of a book (any kind of book to turn of my working brain) 
  5. Kissing with my hubby (ok, this one is optional :D)

You have to do what makes sense to you and what you have time for. My advice #1 to you is to be realistic in what you can do. And once you tackle that, you can add more!

Really try to avoid your phone until you are done with your morning routine and from the point when you start your evening routine. This was life-changer. Because seriously, being an entrepreneur, we just never stop unless we stop ourselves! And if you want to have a good night sleep you have to turn off this part in your brain.

Also, add at least 1 thing that is good for your health (healthy breakfast, glass of water, stretching…), 1 thing that is inspirational (journaling, podcast, affirmations…) and 1 thing that is fun for you (dancing, kissing, snuggling…).

Oh yes, and what also helps is to have a call with your besties once in a while aaaaand doing some yoga. Or actually any physical activity that makes you happy :P.

Let me know how is it going when you try it!!!

 

Love,

Kate

Why Is Self-Care Important For You?

Why Is Self-Care Important For You?

Why is self-care SO important for us.

“This sounds all good but I don’t have time for that.” —> does this sound like you? Yes, I’ve been there, too, girl! Especially if you are an entrepreneur, mom, or actually pretty much anybody who does SOMETHING in life.

It is so darn easy to put everything else first before ourselves. Your business, husband, kids, boyfriend, parents, dog, cat, cleaning the house… name it and I can assure you there is a girl that would put THAT on her “to-do” list before herself.

The truth is, the more you neglect yourself, the less energy you have for others. Because sooner or later, you are gonna have to take a break or quit because you won’t be able to breathe.

Wouldn’t it be much better to take care of yourself first and have tons of energy for others as well?

I bet it would.

It’s crazy how much my life has changed ever since I started putting ME in the first place. I am not saying you should be arrogant, ignorant or mean. NOT AT ALL! I am saying you should take a break for yourself every day and do something that makes you happy, that makes you energized that makes you feel good about yourself and love your life.

I work for myself from home so the schedule is pretty much on me. I know it sounds fabulous but I used to be the worst boss ever. I didn’t eat, didn’t drink, didn’t exercise and didn’t take time to talk to my friends.. oh I didn’t even change from the pajamas some days! #TheStruggleIsReal

The result was: I felt awful, stressed and overwhelmed. Also, I couldn’t sleep.

I am not perfect in this self-care routine yet but ever since I started going to a yoga class 3 times a week (usually around the lunch time), I started taking breaks for water, food, make-up… I feel MUCH better.

Also, I implemented listening to podcasts and reading (again).

You can do a little meditation, journal, listen to a podcast, read, sing, dance, take a work out class, take a bubble bath, do your nails… whatever makes you feel good and you do it by yourself!

self-care important for you

And if you really think you don’t have the time or you simply can’t because of somebody… it’s not true. The somebody is you. I am sure if you explain to your loved ones WHY do you need to take a couple of minutes (or hours) to yourself to keep your sanity they would understand because they love you! AND you will love them even more because you’ll have the mental space for it once you start taking care of yourself 🙂

I am starting a new morning and evening routine this week so I’ll keep you posted y’all (haha the Texas life is growing on me:P ) and see you in the next post! OR the one after that. Basically, I’ll be talking about my new routines and some time very soon!

In the meantime, you can come and hang out with us in Team up Girl group -> HERE. 


Love,

Kate

 

 

 

Don’t Let The Fear And Doubt Stop You!

Don’t Let The Fear And Doubt Stop You!

Don’t Let The Fear And Doubt Stop You!

Last week taught me so much.

If you are following me on Instagram, you know I was in Tucson, AZ looking for a house because we are moving again in December (#militarylife).

I am actually suuuuuuuuuuuper excited because Tucson looks like a fun place to live! Plus, the cactuses are just ADORABLE!

On the other hand, it was pretty stressful and it caught me off guard completely.

I had 3 days to find the house we’ll be living in for the next year. That sounds like “not a big deal” task so I planned a lot of coffee sipping and food tasting as well. However, since I work from home I wanted to find a house that has a lot of natural light inside, is spacious, has a walk-in closet and if possible – a pool.

Turns out most of the houses were really dark or just really weirdly figured out.

Or taken before I got to see it.

It was Tuesday morning and my last viewing got canceled, I knew I had to work more than half of the Wednesday and I was supposed to leave on Thursday morning.

PANIC.

I did panic and I am not very proud of that. I just lost it. I was actually in panic even the day before when I realized that I didn’t have that much time and I started doubting.

Doubt. Fear.

Those are such a low vibrating words, feeling, emotion.

And then I don’t know what happened. I think I was just procrastinating on Instagram and I stumbled upon a caption that caught my attention.

I realized that this whole fear-city I created in my mind was destroying my peace and the pleasure of being in a new city and was definitely not helping me to find the right house.

I spent the whole morning meditating/lying on the bed and breathing deeply to calm down and trying to hear what my real me wants to say.

And there it was.

fear doubt stop

Change of plans

I went to Dedicated – gluten-free bakery, I had a cup of tea, gluten-free club sandwich, bought 2 cupcakes to go and booked one self-viewing of a house.

I did not like the house on the pictures but I felt I need to start moving to “move the energy”.

I will skip the story how I thought my Uber driver is trying to kill us or at least me with his driving approach.

I got to the house. And there it was. The PERFECT light spacious house.

It didn’t have a pool, nice mountain view nor a big backyard but I felt home. I saw us living there, sitting on the couch and watching Heart of Dixie.

I did go to see other houses the day after as well, just to make sure but even a house with a pool was not better than this one.

“Worrying is praying for what you don’t want.”

 

– as I heard on a podcast on my way home.

So don’t let worries to paralyze you. Not when you are looking for a house, not when you are starting a new business, not when you are at the beginning of a new relationship. Trust me, the worry is not worth it but what may come is! 

 

Love,
Kate

 

 

Pin It on Pinterest