Blessings Come In All Kinds Of Disguises

Blessings Come In All Kinds Of Disguises

Blessings come in all kinds of disguises.

In June of 2016, I packed my bags and me and my son moved to Florida from Illinois. I transferred my job down there and planned to look for a better paying job once we were there.

My daughter who had recently graduated college was accepted into Art Institute of America and was going to move down in early August. Everything seemed to take a complete turn a week after I moved.

I was having a hard time finding a babysitter and it was going to be an entire month before my job could get me work. Then I found out my daughter no longer wanted to attend Ai because her loans were not enough to cover her room and board.

Everything just seemed to come crashing down around us. As much I did not want to move back to Illinois I packed my bags and headed back. My oldest sister called me on my way back and asked if I would be interested in going to Branson, Mo with her. Of course, I said yes because it was somewhere besides back home.

We were set to leave for Branson on July 1st. I had put a deposit down on a place for us to stay all we had to do was show up. The day before we were supposed to leave I received a job offer with a company that paid decent, offered full-time hours, and excellent benefits. I was stuck. What do I do now? Of course, my sister encouraged me to take the job. Even though the job involved working a warehouse I really wasn’t crazy about it but felt led to accept the offer.

blessings come in all kinds of disguises

Shauna is a Blogger at ShaunaColeman.com and very inspiring person.

She has 3 beautiful children and got recently married to a love of her life.

Her blog has multiple challenges and lot of cool materials to help women to change their mindset on her website! Go and check her out! 

In August I decided or shall I say I felt led to start dating again. This was a huge step for me because I had been through so much with men in the past. In September I met the man I would later marry.

Looking back I would have never met him if everything would have been peaches and cream and I stayed in Florida or moved to Branson as planned. We met in September, got engaged in November, and was married June 30th, 2017.

I don’t want to get all gushy on you but he is a pretty amazing man. He has taught me so many things like how to not be selfish or self-centered. He has taught me was love really is. He makes me want to be a better person. The best part is my kids love him and he loves them.

He completes me and I complete him. We are so different yet we balance one another. When I thought everything was going downhill and I was going to be stuck in a state I hate working a job I wasn’t crazy about my entire world changed in an instance. My husband, my blessing, taught me how to love life and have fun.

NOTE from Kate: It’s unbelievable how sometimes the things that suck the most turns out to be a huuuuuuge blessing. I am SO happy Shauna decided to share her personal story because it takes a courage to talk about your personal life, challenges and maybe even about the low points of your life.

If you liked this story, get ready for next Thursday for another one. (Unless Divi makes another update that will make it impossible for me to upload it…. AKA I am not blaming you, Elegant Themes, at all!)

And in the meantime, check out Shauna’s awesome inspirational blog HERE or read the previous story from Teresa HERE. 

How I’ve Been Treating Men & Women Differently Without Realizing It

How I’ve Been Treating Men & Women Differently Without Realizing It

Years ago, back when I was in high school, I had a boyfriend cheat on me with a friend of mine. I found out on Valentine’s Day. The school was doing this thing where classes would be interrupted by a student delivering valentines. It was a big public display thing and I can’t remember exactly what happened, but one of them sent the other one a valentine.

That’s how I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me with my friend. It might not be as bad as walking in on them having sex or being left at the altar, but it was still one of my most painful experiences. I found out in a very public way. I was humiliated, and betrayed by two people in my life. That day, I also started to learn that friends in our group knew. The betrayal multiplied over and over. For a person who has a hard time trusting people enough to let them in, it was a betrayal that hit incredibly hard. 

 

Moving On

Over time, I started to move on and pretty much forgive the friends in the group who knew but never told me. I even started to move on, accept, sorta forgive, and even take back that boyfriend. The thing is, he cheated on me repeatedly, and I kept taking him back. After years of having this dysfunctional relationship of being on and off or sometimes sex buddies, I realized I needed to do something on a big scale to jolt out of it and break-free. I moved cities. While overall it was a great move for me, it was not the most healthy or effective way of dealing with the problem.

You know that female friend of mine, other than a drunk conversation I had with her once, I never spoke to her again. Even years later when she friend requested me on Facebook, I shut that down.  Why did I treat a cheating boyfriend who hurt me, better than a cheating female friend who hurt me?

I’ve looked back at my reactions and decisions in different situations during my life. One thing that seems to pop up quite often is how I have a double standard for men and women. I never noticed this before.

treating men women differently

Teresa Carnegie is the person behind Dapsile.

A new resource web-site created to help people, with a little bit of everything. It provides information, product reviews and business services. The site is continuously growing and has just added ‘A Different Point of View’ section for writers, artists, and outspoken creative people to share their work. 

Teresa brings to Dapsile, an ingrained need to help people, with the added belief that the more we share, the more we help others. That and her love of learning, travel, eating and trying new things, to name a few. 

Apparently, men who have hurt me very rarely have any repercussions. The women who hurt me though, well, I go full out, never speak to them again mode. Why? Why do I basically allow this treatment from men but punish women.

Self Analysis

Realizing I’ve been treating men and women differently, has caused me to do a lot of analysis for a why. Do I just expect to be treated this way by men? Am I naturally expecting women, or even just my female friends, to be more trustworthy? Is this because as a society, men’s behavior is expected to be bad but women are generally expected to be more trustworthy and maternal?

I think it is definitely partly due of society. All you have to do it is read the news around the world to hear of men not being punished for crimes against women. It happens everywhere, and a lot. If men have no repercussions in society for their behavior and actions what does that teach the rest of us. Maybe that is why I hold women up to a higher standard. They aren’t men.

 

 

Owning It

I don’t think I can just blame society for my behavior though. I try to treat people equally, and I expect to be treated equally back. It shouldn’t be any different when men and women hurt me. I think my behavior over the years can be explained by going back to that high school cheating boyfriend. By figuring out why I basically let him cheat on me, when I accepted him back into my life every time, it helped me understand why I let men go without repercussions after they have hurt me. And why I kept falling into the same pattern of dating. Unfortunately, I didn’t figure it out for years, but once I did, it all made sense. The realization has helped me work on changing and treating men and women equally when they hurt me. In every aspect of life, not just female friends and boyfriends.

I didn’t realize it back then but that high school cheating boyfriend, I loved him more than I loved myself.

I made him more important than me and I put him first.

I might be better at loving myself now, but treating myself as important as others, is something I am still working on.

 

NOTE from Kate: Teresa is a very kind person and it was amazing collaborating with her. Especially, since she said it got her thinking about herself more. Part of that was the questions I have asked her. And this is what makes me happy :).

Get ready for next post in the TEAm EFFORTs category.  And in the meantime GO ahead and check out her website!

 

I Stand For Girls, Do You? Women Empowerment

I Stand For Girls, Do You? Women Empowerment

#IStandForGirls, do you?

When you were on high school… Have you ever thought how awful is it that you have to wake up every morning and go to school and listen to those damn teachers blubbering the whole day?! Or complaining about the gross smelly bus? Oh I bet you did!

I loved school but still, every time my morning alarm went “beep” it freaked me out. Not that I was scared to go to school because I would get bad grades. I actually got really good grades. But you know why I felt like throwing up every morning? Because of the hateful girls. Because of all of the drama, jealousy, girl’s insecurities, and yes, even because of my good grades.

Well, now think about it from a different perspective.

Can you imagine not having the experience of going to school every day?

Can you imagine to walk to your high school 12km there and 12km back every day?

Can you imagine not being able to count?

Can you imagine not being able to text your friend because you don’t exactly know how to write?

And actually, you don’t even have a cell phone because you don’t have a job?

I can’t.

My Instagram *friend* Elisabetta together with her Mozambique friend Percina is running a campaign #IStandForGirls, ONLY in the month of September.

BTW Percina is the girl who walked 24km a day to get to her high school every day!

stand for girls women empowerment

In 2015, the literacy* rate in Mozambique was 58% for people over 15 years old.

*“Literacy” is defined as “being able to write a short, simple statement in everyday life.”

And I am saying *friend* because I haven’t met Elisabetta in person (yet) but I’ve been following her journey in helping out people in Mozambique for a while and I think she’s doing an amazing job.

The goal of the campaign is to help 100 girls to get an education for a year!

And the best thing? It doesn’t cost an arm and a leg.

Do you love coffee?? I DO, TOO! Look at the image below:

stand for girls women empowerment

Can you skip 1 coffee a week and help out another girl to maybe change the world? Or even if you just change hers, if you help, the world won’t ever be the same:).

And BTW that Pumpkin Spice Latte is not good for you anyway. Get a glass of water!

If you want to donate right away, get to KURANDZA website where you can choose what is the best for you. You can sponsor a girl for a year or you can donate an amount of your choice. If you need more information, read it here.

#IStandForGirls. Actually, I stand for 2 girls from Tuesday.

stand for girls women empowerment
stand for girls women empowerment
How To Emphasize the Woman In You?

How To Emphasize the Woman In You?

Hello lovely,

you know, my last post actually got me thinking. Surprising? I am not saying that I am so awesome that I inspire myself. Nope. I just kinda felt obligated to do exactly what I told you to do.

I made my list and I crossed off everything that didn’t belong there, added a couple more things and decided to finally make new steps. I even created my “Bali” jar and got $5 there! (I didn’t have more cash)

When I was first thinking about TEAm up GIRL it was never supposed to be about me. I wanted to create a community of women supporting women. I didn’t really know how exactly, though. And not that I know now but I decided to make some changes and innovations and I hope you’ll like it! I would be more than happy if you embrace the woman in you and connect with all the other girls 🙂 

 

FIRST OF ALL:

I decided I’d be publishing my new posts on Mondays. I actually read an article that said people read blog posts on Mondays at 11 am (I am surprised the world doesn’t stop moving if everybody is reading). And if it’s on Pinterest, I believe it, right?!

SECOND OF ALL:

I don’t want to be posting only my posts about myself and blah blah blah. I said community, right? Well, the community is not going to get created by itself. So, I am creating a new category (with a new page within the blog posts) about us. It’s called “TEAm Efforts”.

how to emphasize the woman

TEAm Efforts:

I just want to share more stories from my virtual (not imaginary) friends. And blogger friends. Not only that but also I think there are SO many girl organizations, charities, girl-bosses, girl businesses etc. Everything that has something to do with a girl and was created by somebody else but me! Every Thursday you can expect a new post here.

 

WORK WITH ME:

If you felt inspired and you want to write a post* about your story, you want to be featured as the Blogger of the Week in our FB group OR featured as a #teamupboss,  contact me on my new “WORK WITH ME” page.
*About the guest posts – if it’s better for you, you don’t have to share any of my posts. Or feel free to write me even if you don’t have a blog at all!

 

FACEBOOK GROUP:

Community, right? As I already mentioned. I will share:

1) Blogger of the Week – once a week (obvi) under the hashtag #teamupgirl I’ll share my personal opinion and recommendation on a girl blogger + a link to her favorite post. I will share newbies as well as bloggers with bigger follow. I want us to connect!

2) Badass Boss – could be a charity, organization, your girl-boss company, …once a month under #teamupboss. You can give me suggestions (or suggest yourself) and I will share the website + again my opinion/recommendation. You never know, maybe you’ll find your wedding photographer in my group!

3) Women change the world – Did you know that the trash can with the pedal was invented by a woman? Well, neither did I. I think we should embrace how amazing women are and what we’ve done in the past because guys don’t talk about it. The more we know about other women, the more courageous we can feel! This will start in October under the hashtag #womenchangetheworldteam

If you are not a part of our Facebook Community, you can join us HERE. 

With all of them feel free to use the hashtags when relevant on your Instagram posts, I’ll check them once a week and I’ll be more likely consider you as the next featured person!

Talking about Instagram.

 

INSTAGRAM:

there is just one note, things regarding TEAm up GIRL will be happening mostly in my story. Like follow Friday etc. (I want to tag my fave Insta peeps). 

Lots of love,

Kate

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